PST Wrap-Up

Today marked the day of the first real snow fall during my stay in Ukraine. One of many days, I predict. I decided that because I went to college in Eastern Washington I could easily maneuver the city in tennis shoes. Uh… I believe I’ll wear my snow boots tomorrow. I made this decision the 7th time I slipped on the ice (no, I didn’t fall.) This morning when my host Toyta (aunt) announced from the kookneea (kitchen) “Jesseeka, snig cevonia,” (Jessica, snow today) I laughed, delighted at the news. The fresh blanket of snow made the city bright and beautiful today. I was in a wonderful mood as I slowly, cautiously walked the normally 12 minute walk to my Russian teacher’s apartment. (It took me 26 minutes to walk there today!) I do not believe the reason for my happiness can only be associated with the snow. Today was the final day of language class and tomorrow is my Language Proficiency Interview…or you could call it my Russian exam. I’m not sure where Pre-Service Training went, but it is quickly wrapping up. I leave Chernigiv on Dec. 14 for a conference in Kiev. The swearing-in ceremony is Dec. 17. I feel like the last year I have been stuck in a perpetual PST. I’m looking forward to being a PCV once again.

Unfortunately, I am not as close to this batch of PCV’s as I was with my batch in the Philippines. First of all, this batch has 113 people! My PCP group only had 69—and at mid-service their numbers now stand at 50! PCP Group #267 are all amazing people full of ideals and a general respect for humanity and peace. And I'm pleased that so are many people in PC Ukraine batch #37. Many of them genuinely care about their jobs as PCV’s and I know they will shine at their permanent sites. The announcement of our sites will happen on Dec. 14. I have already been told I will teach at the university level, although I do not know where yet. But as soon as I can, I’ll let my world know where in Ukraine I am located.

I apologize for the lack of blog entries during PST. I’m afraid it has been a rather hectic 11 weeks. Here is what you’ve missed:
• Due to a mutated version of the swine flu (known as the California flu/ American flu) that fiercely affected Ukraine, the schools were closed for 4 weeks. This, of course, meant absolutely no teaching during the quarantine. It was a strange time. People walked around the streets wearing face masks, grocery stores were running low on produce because everyone was panicking and buying food quickly. Also, some host families felt nervous about having an American living in their home, and asked Peace Corps to please find them a new home. First of all, this made us feel like lepers and also like puppies in need of good homes. While my host family did not have this reaction, I had different issues in that department…
• My 1st host family in Ukraine had a difficult time understanding that Peace Corps expected them to feed me at least twice a day with the 1200 G (grieves) they were paid monthly. The woman who had the tile of my host mom preferred to spend her money on vodka rather than food. It was a strange household and I was always sick due to the constant secondhand smoke I inhaled in the apartment. My bronchitis was out of control and I lost 15 lbs in 2 months. This freaked out the Peace Corps doctors (PCMO) so they requested I be moved. Unfortunately, Peace Corps make the mistake of telling the crazy woman I lived with the night before I was to leave. She threw a fit and kicked me out at 10 pm. I met my new host family at mid-night while wearing my pajamas. It was awkward, but thankfully, a blessing. My new host family is incredible. They have no objections to feeding me and try to do so often….LOL! My host Toyta just asked if I wanted to eat borscht right now. I told her I would later and I had to promise I would eat it all. My host mom, Tanya, is a librarian—she’s 50. Toyta Nina (Tanya’s mother) is 74. They are both dear women and I’m very happy to have lived with them for the past 5 weeks. I will miss them when I move out next week, but I plan to visit in the spring at Easter.

Those are the two most important events during my PST. I did get a chance to teach once after the quarantine. I didn’t realize I was being evaluated at the time, and apparently Peace Corps Ukraine officials were very impressed at my teaching abilities. *shrug* That is one of the reasons they have decided not to place me at the high school level, and chose to place me at the University. I’m looking forward to this new challenge, to all the adventures I’m sure to have while living here in Ukraine, to once again calling myself a Peace Corps Volunteer, and I most especially look forward to the next 2 years. Hope you’ll continue to follow my blog…the journey has just begun.

More to follow…

An Old Begining

October is nearing an end. The vivid yellows and golds that have decorated the city have become muddy brown underneath the daily foot traffic. Gloves and warmer coats have been unpacked as the chill in the air threatens winters imminent arrival only weeks away. People cram into marshutkas or buses rather then lose the battle to the persistent wind. The weather does not affect the attire of the natives, especially the women. Short skirts and high heel boots are still evident despite the elements. I shake my head in despair, knowing that I will never fully acclimate to the culture, for I have no plans to wear high heels on the ice nor wear a skirt while it's -2 degrees Celsius. Five weeks in Ukraine and the attire of the women still manages to shock me. I feel rather ridiculous in my heavy winter coat and long pants, gloves, ear muffs and flat winter boots. I have to remember to behave on the streets and blend in. Which means don't dance around while listening to my iPod, which is something I definitely would do in America.

For the most part, it is difficult to remember I am in Ukraine. Well...I am living in a city. Which is very different from my sheltered existence in the woods of Washington. But Chernihiv is a lovely city full of history and I have enjoyed exploring all it has to offer. For example, last Saturday my cluster (d) and our link cluster (c) along with our Peace Corps TCF & LCF's explored the cities catacombs from the 12 century. It was quite the adventure. The monks lived in the catacombs--their lives were spent silently and in prayer. We walked/crawled through the room where all the bodies were cremated and/or buried. I can't even begin to explain the rush this experience brought for me...nor how dirty I was when we finally surfaced.
It is hard to wrap my mind around a country with such history. This is my first time in Europe and the fact that I come from a country that is only a measly 200 years old is evident as I walk around a 1200 year old city such as Chernihiv. I have only seen a sliver of Ukraine, but so far I find it to be a beautiful and incredible country. I would definitely recommend people to see this amazing, gorgeous and developing country before the newness of their independence wears off and Ukraine becomes as popular as Western Europe. I have yet to visit the neighboring countries to the West, but I doubt that these places will hold the same charm for me as Ukraine most assuredly does.

I look forward to sharing more about this country as more events occur. I will do my best to blog often. However, training is keeping me busy and I hardly find a time to do anything but study Russian, write English lesson plans, plus the many other duties required during PST. One month down, just 2 more to go before swearing in! :-) I would like to thank Connie, Loren, Aaron and my Mom for the letters. I can't even begin to explain how happy each piece of mail I receive makes me. But I know the current and former PCV's understand. Thank you so much! I shall write soon, dear readers. Take care and Odachee! (Good luck)

More to follow...

Ukraine Video Promo

Jess v. The Suitcase

I've been very busy packing this week. My bedroom looks like a war was fought amongst the clothes and many pairs of boots. I'm afraid my suitcases are the casualties. I'm only allowed 100 lbs. That may seem like enough, but trust me, a girl needs more then just 2 suitcases for a 27 month trip! My mom and I are trying to work under these restrictions, but it is stressing me out. Not to mention that fact that all of my wardrobe consisted of attire better suited for the tropics. Updating has become spendy. :-( But I think I have everything I'll need. I'm pretty bummed about the 'no packages' rule during Pre-Service Training (PST). I can't even begin to express how important mail is during Peace Corps. Mom once wrote to me about picking out new curtains & I found it the most interesting news I'd ever read. I don't really care about the content...boring is great! It's NORMAL! Trust me, normalcy takes on a whole new meaning when you're away from the familiar. So I'm begging for letters. Please, send them. They are greatly appreciated.

I fly out of Portland, OR on September 24. My PC Staging will be in Philadelphia, PA. There we'll discuss safety concerns before leaving the following day (Sept. 26) for JFK airport in New York. And then we fly to Frankfurt, Germany and from there Kyiv, Ukraine. We'll have a 2-3 day orientation where we meet the PC Ukraine staff and learn survival tips about the language and culture. And from there, I leave with some of my batch mates for my training city--wherever that may be. I will not know this information until the last day of orientation. PST lasts 3 months. I am sworn in as a Volunteer on December 8, 2009. For now, I am considered a Peace Corps Trainee. :-) Looking forward to being a PCV once again. And looking forward to the next couple of years in Ukraine. It will be fabulous!

Life SO rocks!!!

More to follow...

The Second Time Around...

My letter arrived from Peace Corps today, announcing that I have been invited to spend the next 27 months in the Ukraine.
PROGRAM: I will be teaching English as a foreign language to students 10-17 yrs. old.
DATES: I leave September 25, 2009. My close of service (COS) date is 12-08-2011.

I'm nervous for the new challenges that will face me in this unfamiliar environment, yet I'm optimistic and excited for this new adventure.



Click on the picture to read facts about the Ukraine!

More to follow...

Leavin' Once Again

Today my Peace Corps placement officer called to congratulate me. I have been invited to serve in Eastern Europe to once again teach English as a second language. :-) The possible countries include: Albania, Bulgaria, Macedonia, Moldova, Romania & the Ukraine. I am SUPER excited and can't wait to find out which country will be my home for the next 27 months! PC does not tell us the name of the country over the phone for security reasons. But a letter was sent to me today via FedEx and I should receive it on Monday or Tuesday of next week. I leave for this new assignment at the end of September. I shall all let you know the details as soon as I know them myself. Words cannot express how relieved & ecstatic I am about this new journey. I can hardly wait to begin!

More to follow...

Oh, the possibilities!

Hey all,

Many people continue to ask me where PC is sending me next. My stock answer of shrugging and saying "I don't know" leaves people dumbfounded and aggravated. Which I find rather entertaining, considering it's my future. People who ask this question have never done Peace Corps before, clearly. For those of you who remember my last time during this process, I gave the same answer but shared the frustration. I feel I'm a pro at waiting on Peace Corps this second time around. However, I was curious as to the possible locations, and I thought I'd add them here so people can have an idea as to where in the world I may end up. Care to place a bet? ;-)

Eastern Europe: Albania, Bulgaria, Macedonia, Moldova, Romania & the Ukraine.

Central Asia: Azerbaijan, Armenia, Georgia, Kazakhstan, Kyrgyz Republic, Turkmenistan

Asia: China, Mongolia

Yep, that's 14 possibilities. And no, I have no clue as to where or when. Which is kind of part of the fun. I'm excited to go & looking forward to my next journey! Check back later (I'm guessing 8 weeks) to find out more.

More to follow...

And the guessing game begins...

Another Peace Corps update, my friends.

It seems as if my only medical restriction this time around will be my ears--due to the problem I inherited during PC Philippines. This means I cannot serve in any tropical environment and, if Office of Medical Services doesn't screw everything up, will be placed in Eastern Europe/Central Asia & leave this September. This, of course, is a guess by my hardworking recruiter and should not be taken as fact yet (for those of you who are unfamiliar with the PC system). If OMS meddles and finds something wrong with me, the process could get brutal (as some of you well know.) So I'm trying to be my optimistic self and believe that everything will turn out in the end. And that the process will hurry along this second time. I'm very much ready to get out and see the world again!

More to follow...

Approved!

Today I heard from Peace Corps! I have (finally) been approved for re-enlistment. Yaaay! Which means I am now in the “medical clearance” stage. Luckily I met with my doctor today and she expressed excitement that I have no medical restrictions this time around, considering how hard I’ve been building up the muscles around my knee with kick boxing, etc. So, hopefully, my medical will be cleared by mid-August and I will be placed by the end of that month—which means I will depart sometime this fall, as early as this September. If I’m placed in by this Fall, I would not serve in Asia but on one of the other continents. No idea which one. Worst case scenario, if I’m not immediately medically cleared, I will not leave until January where I will be placed in Northern Asia—which is either China or Mongolia. I’m 95% sure it would be Mongolia…Brr…

I have no aversion to Mongolia, but I really do not want to wait THAT long to leave. That’s more than a year since my release from the Philippines (due to medical reasons). So, hopefully, Office of Medical Services performs a miracle and approves me this summer! Keep your fingers crossed, my friends!

More to follow…

Forest People

So, today was just really weird.

It started out normal (as normal as my life is at the moment). I worked out all morning and read most of the afternoon. Didn't head outside until 2:00, when I felt it was hot enough outside to suntan and read. I was just about to...ehm...um, tan, when I heard voices. Now, this is alarming only because my parent's home is nestled deep within the woods. People in our woods is a foreign concept. So foreign, in fact, that I assumed the 3 teens I saw from my distant vantage point were homeless. They had buckets are were playing above the our waterfall--which all can be seen from a 100 yards away if you look down from the hill where my father's honey shop is located.

Me, being me, wanted to help. So I made PB sandwiches and went in search for them. This was, of course, after calling my mom--who in turn called my Dad & the sheriff. I received orders to NOT approach them. Uh, yeah...okay. I waited patiently for my dad or the sheriff, but then my dog started freaking out and went charging into the woods. I heard screams, shouts and barking dogs. This made me go charging into the woods to coral the dog. The kids threw a rock at my dog and went running into the woods when they saw me. I should mention this all took place on my parent's 15 acres. I know those woods inside and out. But I had no desire to scare the kids. So I shushed the still barking dog and called out to the kids that I was a friend and meant them no harm. That I only wanted to help. At this point I called my friend, Becca, to let her know what I was up to. She did not like the plan that involved me marching through the woods while strangers were lurking about. I didn't know these kids were kids at the time. They seemed older from the distance I saw them from.

The poor dears. I felt so sad for them. As I was walking home, my mind running wild with story ideas, one of our neighbors drove by me. She stopped to ask if everything was okay. Apparently I looked upset. (I have no poker face.) I told her my worry and she asked if it was her kids. Uh...she has kids? Our neighbors live up the log road about 1/2 mile. We rarely see them, unless we're walking on the log road and they happen to drive by (which was the case now.) She was so embarrassed and kept apologizing. She explained that her kids just loved playing in the creek and really, really loved our waterfall. This surprised me, because we had rules growing up (and still now) to never go on the neighbors property. It just wasn't done! So, I was really glad everything was cleared up. And that the kids I saw were not homeless, only wearing their pajamas in the forest & pretending to have an adventure. I can relate to the latter. Like I said, I grew up in those woods.

This whole situation was disturbing. I am so relieved to learn we did not have poor people living in our woods, but the fact that the idea crossed my mind as legitimate is a concern. The poverty people around the world face right now (even here at home) is heart wrenching to witness. It worries me that someday, possibly soon, that today's misunderstanding could easily become tomorrow's reality. The best we can do for those less fortunate is to offer friendship and no judgment. Be a friend to everyone, acquaintances and strangers alike. For now more then ever do we need to love one another and share the wealth.


ps--the PB sandwiches served well as dinner. :-)

Dreams are not for whimps!

"Take a look at yourself in the mirror.
Who do you see looking back?
Is it the person you want to be?

Or is there someone else you were meant to be?
The person you should have been, but fell short of?

Is someone telling you, you can't or you wont?
Cause you can!

Believe that love is out there.
Believe that dreams come true everyday. Because they do.

Sometimes happiness doesn't come from money, or fame, or power.
Sometimes happiness comes from good friends and family. And from the quiet nobility of leading a good life.

Believe that dreams come true everyday. Because they do.

Believe that dreams come true everyday. Because they do.

So take a look in that mirror and remind yourself to be happy. Because you deserve to be. Believe that!

And believe that dreams comes true everyday. Because they do!" ~OTH season 6 finale


I've always been labeled a hopeless romantic. Since high school, people have been telling me this. But then, and especially now, I'm not so sure. Do I like romance? Of course! But I'm too practical to be labeled "hopeless." My commonsense has kept me safe thus far from the pain romance often brings. I may be sheltering myself, true, but I still believe this is for the best.

To me, it's saner to jump out of an airplane then it is to allow yourself to fall in love. Because at least with one you have a parachute. The other can leave you broken and bleeding on the pavement.

I am definitely and adventurer. I love to do the unexpected and the dangerous. I love Peace Corps for many reasons, but also because it feeds the independent adventurer within. I look forward to tattoos, sky diving and driving really, really fast. But falling in love? That is an adventure I've kept myself from having.

It's not that I don't want to fall in love, or to be loved. I just don't think it's possible. I've seen what "love" does to people. I never want to surrender myself completely to another person only to be betrayed in the end. I grew up with that love and I've come close enough to that kind of love as an adult to scare the living daylights out of me!

But, I also believe that dreams do come true. Just not in the way that we may have expected. So, it is my attitude to continue to secretly dream and to have no expectations. Not lower them, but to cease having them. No expectations leaves little room for disappointment.

So I continue to dream and to wait for love. I wait for the man who's strong enough to capture my heart. Because if he can, I can promise him, he'd have me forever. But I expect an equal trade. I'd settle for nothing less! <3

Be supportive! Care.

Check out the link below, please, and sign the petition to demand better care for women who require Mastectomies. Everyone can make a difference, please do this small & fast task to assure the health and safety of a sister, daughter, mother, aunt, friend, stranger.

[caption id="attachment_115" align="alignnone" width="613" caption="Be a hero! Click on the picture to save lives."][/caption]

MTV, New Moon & Robert Pattinson

I was in the Philippines when the "Twilight" phenomenon hit the world. And yes, we were affected in Asia as well. I had students who couldn't afford paper suddenly carrying around folders with some pasty guy on the cover of it. I had no idea who he was, except that he looked somewhat similar to Cedrik Diggory from Harry Potter. I did go to the movie while in Manila with a couple of other American volunteers, but hardly watched the plot because I was to distracted by the fact that IT WAS MY STATE!!!!!! :-) Please remember it had been months since I'd seen home, and was very excited to recognize the Northwest on the big screen. Not to mention that the screaming the girls kept up was really distracting. But, whatever, I got to look at trees for 2 hours!!!! :-)

But, for as long as I can remember, I have kept up on knowing which guys were HOTT in Hollywood. When I saw the cover of the April GQ while standing in the check-out line at the grocery store, my first thought was "Oh yeah, baby, yummy!" No seriously. That was my first thought. ;-) Followed by others that would be inappropriate to admit. Ehm... Just a minute while I dwell on those thoughts again....

............................................................................................................................................

*clear voice* Okay, uh, where was I? Oh, right. So, yeah. Robert Pattinson. The hottest guy on the planet right now. I do not mean that physically. The guy rates about a 7 on my scale. Johnny Depp is an 11, in case you were wondering. No one can top Johnny in my eyes, or the eyes of any sane woman. Especially not some punk kid who's known for waving a wand, sparkling in the sunlight or masturbating while watching his buddy get it on. Really, girls? Now, I'm not saying the boys not fine. I think I've already made that clear (see earlier comments.) I think it's safe to say that every straight woman and gay man with any taste has contemplated using Redi-whip & chocolate sauce on Robert's naked body. Mmm...

Anyway, The 2009 MTV Movie Awards were today and I haven't missed a show since 2002. It's my yearly guilty pleasure, because I love that something always goes wrong & I can't stop laughing. Oh, and of course, the delicious eye candy. :-)

I tried to include a clip of the first ever exclusive trailer to New Moon & the video showcasing the acceptance of "Best Kiss" by Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart (cause it was funny!) But youtube sure has gotten picky with time. So I encourage you all to go check it out for yourselves. It's worth it. I may not be in America in November when New Moon releases, but I'm sure my many friends will fill in the details. :-) For now, I'll enjoy the trailer! :-)

Take care!

http://videoguide.msn.com/play/movies/?g=d0cf7d4a-3f46-45f9-b63f-d289f0f26e5 = New Moon trailer (MTV)

Just because you can, doesn't mean you should

So, I have a new issue to vent about and my mom suggested I stop complaining to her and find someone else who cares. Then she suggested I write a blog about it. Yes! Of course! I'll vent to the masses and find a sympathetic ear, someone who is also disgusted by the boundaries technology has crossed.

Okay, so I went from bookstore to bookstore this week looking for, duh, a book in a series I've been reading. The book was published (according to the author's website) March 1, 2009. No one at any bookstore had ever heard of this book. Finally a salesclerk at Boarder's asked me if it was an ebook. Me = blank stare. Blink. "Huh?" I got home and googled the title and, sure enough!, this book I've been searching for is not a "book," but a manuscript typed up and available for purchase on-line. It will not be available in hardback/paperback, but will remain an ebook. WHAT!? Now, I knew ebooks existed, but I thought they were for psudo authors designed for all the trash editors would never waste time to print. Apparently not.

Now, I'm a tree huger. I see the benefits of not printing millions of copies and destroying trees. I get it. Yet, to me, books are sacred. When movies, music and shopping all became regulated by the internet, I was cool with the change. But books? There is just something about holding a book in your hands and watching the cover crease with each time I read it; about seeing the lovely book on my overflowing bookshelf; about having the ability to share the book with friends who want to borrow it. I do not want my books to jam my memory on my hard drive and become nothing but forgotten GB's taking up space on my computer. WHAT IS THIS!?

And what self respecting author would agree to allowing their books to not be published, but remain nothing but an electronic copy? And here I say, just because you can do something, doesn't mean you should. Meaning, just because we can put books on-line and never print again (don't even get me started on newspapers), doesn't mean that is the right thing to do and we should sometimes refrain. What is going to happen in the future? Will all the books be "ebooks" (grr..) and the once paper books (aka: real books) be relegated to the same uses as paper towels and toilet paper?! Will kids in the future even know what a real book looks like, or will they someday say "Oh yeah, I saw that on TV once."??? This is just a small tragedy in my world.

I'm just disgusted with modern technology sometimes. This is so one of those times!

Tick, tock...

Yep, still waiting on Peace Corps to make their final decision about sending me to a new country. I'm not the only one irritated with the delay. My former country director also expressed aggravation over the wait. Can you believe it's been nearly 6 months since they sent me home from the Philippines?! I can assure you, I'll all healed and MORE then ready to get the hell out of here. I'm not meant to stay in one place too long anymore. I've got wings and PC just keeps clipping them, dang it!

I love PC, I really do. But I hate the politics surrounding head quarters and the constant mind games... Hm... Okay, I love being a PCV, faaar from PCHQ. Every PCV always says "what PC doesn't know wont hurt you..." Meaning once you're sworn in as a volunteer you go to site and try really hard to stay off PC's radar. Just do your job and be happy. That's all I want. I loved my job and I'm still livid that I had to go home. And I love my family...but I've had more then enough of all of them. Please, for the love of God!, get me out of here, Peace Corps! Let me do my job!

And please God, don't let me get sick again. Pleeeeeease!

When I know more, dear readers, so will you. In the meantime, please disregard all blogs that reek of venting, as this one clearly does. *sheepish grin*

More to follow...

Who the heck are you?

Que Intro:

Hello. About me, hm? Well, I love to write. That is what I do. I write and people pay me to let them read my work. :-) At least, in theory. I’ve never been paid for anything I’ve written. I hope that one day that changes, otherwise I’ll have to get used to a different life style. :-)

I served as a US Peace Corps Volunteer for 4 months in the Philippines–teaching English to high school students. I had a blast & was very disheartened that my health forced my service to end earlier then I had planned. I’m currently readjusting to life in America while Peace Corps finds me a new country to serve.

Life has definitely thrown me curve balls. But that’s okay! Life without surprises wouldn’t be much of a life at all. I enjoy the unexpected and look forward to my next journey. This blog was originally intended as a place to share my adventures with family & friends. It is still that, but has also evolved to the dumping ground for all of my random thoughts.

Enjoy the stories of my life. :-) And please leave a comment if you feel so inclined. Have a good day

My prose & poetry may be found at: jdsalmostpoetic.wordpress.com

For more info, visit my facebook page.

Peace Be With You, My Friend!

Jessica D Strickland's Profile

Create Your Badge

So you wanna join Peace Corps...

Hi guys,

I've met many people here and there who have asked me questions about joining Peace Corps. Now, if you're series, you've already visited www.peacecorps.gov. Right? ;-) On their web site you have all the basic questions and the mundane FAQ kind of answered for you. Uh yeah... Thanks. But what about talking to someone who has been through the process of applying and being shipped off to a third world country?! Do you really want to talk about EVERYTHING worrying you about joining Peace Corps but you're too freaked out to ask the big heads in Washington DC? Trust me, returned PCV's so understand. Which is why this blog is open to everyone. I've been through the grueling process of applying for Peace Corps (which took me 16 months), the 3 months of waiting around before I left and then another 3 months of training once I got into country and realized what I'd signed up for. PC was the best experience of my life, but I had 0 clue as to what I was doing and really wished I'd had someone to talk to. So, ta da! Congratulations! You stumbled across the right blog. Please feel free to drop me a message, ask a question or leave a comment. I'm more then happy to talk about ANYTHING you want to know about Peace Corps, even if you're just sort of curious. I'm an open book! Consider me your Yoda for this new experience (if you have to). ;-)

Oh, and yes PC, I know the rules. Ehm... "Peace Corps does in no way associate itself with the above statement or ANY of the information found of this website." For direct information from the head honchos themselves visit: www.peacecorps.gov [caption id="attachment_78" align="alignleft" width="130" caption="Peace Corps"][/caption]

100 Songs to Live By

These are the songs that I can’t live without. Each are important to me for various reasons. So far I have 80 songs in my playlist. Thought I’d ask my friends if they have any song suggestions for my ultimate list of the “100 Songs to Live By”. And, I’m curious, are any of my songs in your playlist?

1) All My Loving — Jim Sturgess
2) All You Need Is Love– The Beatles
3) Almost Lover– A Fine Frenzy
4) Always Love– Nada Surf
5) American Pie– Don McLean
6) Babe I’m Gonna Leave You– Led Zepplin
7) Beautiful Day– U2
8. Blackbird– Evan Rachel Wood
9) Boston–Augustana
10) Brown Eyed Girl– Van Morrison

11) Chasing Cars– Snow Patrol
12) Clair de Lune– Debussy
13) Counting Stars– Sugarcult
14) Drift– Forty Foot Echo
15) Empty Apartment– Yellowcard
16) Every Little Thing– Hawk Nelson
17) Everything– Lifehouse
18) Falling for You– Jem
19) Feel This (ft. Enation)–Bethany Joy Galeotti
20) Finally Woken—Jem

21) Forever Young– Youth Group
22) Halo– Bethany Joy Galeotti
23) Hands Down– Dashboard Confessionals
24) Hazy (ft. William Fitzsimmons)– Rosi Golan
25) Hey Jude– The Beatles
26) How To Save A Life– The Fray
27) Hysteria– Muse
28) I’ll Be– Edwin McCain
29) I Love Rock n’ Roll– Joan Jet
30) I Love You– Sarah McLachlan

31) I Shall Believe– Sheryl Crow
32) I Want To Hold Your Hand– The Beatles
33) Imagine– John Lennon
34) In The Light– DC Talk
35) Invincible– Muse
36) The Kill– 30 Seconds to Mars
37) Leave Out All the Rest– Linkin Park
38) Leaving 99– Audio Adrenaline
39) Let it Be– Carol Woods & Timothy T Mitchum
40) Life is Beautiful– Vega4

41) Lose my Soul– toby Mac
42) Love is in the House– toby Mac
43) Love Song– Sara Bareilles
44) Made to Love You– toby Mac
45) Missing You– Jem
46) The Mixed Tape– Jack’s Mannequin
47) My Savior My God– Aaron Shust
48) Never Think– Rob Pattinson
49) Pretty Girl– Sugarcult
50) Rest in Pieces—Saliva

51) Romeo and Juliet– Matt Nathanson
52) Save Yourself– Sense Field
53) Screaming Infidelities– Dashboard Confessionals
54) Sea of Faces– Kutless
55) Spotlight (Twilight mix)– Mutemath
56) Stars– Switchfoot
57) Stay Now– Jem
58) Supermassive Black Hole– Muse
59) Time is Running Out– Muse
60) Wait for Love– Matt White

61) Waiting– Fireflight
62) We Belong Together– Gavin Degraw
63) When You Love Someone– Bryan Adams
64) Worst December– Sugarcult
65) You Found Me– The Fray
66) Lovesong– The Cure
67) Dare You to Move– Switchfoot
68) (Everything) I Do, I Do it For You– Bryan Adams
69) Be Yourself– Audioslave
70) For Blue Skies– Stray’s Don’t Sleep

71) Seasons Change– Susie Suh
72) 23– Jimmy Eat World
73) Re-gaining Unconsciousness– NOFX

74) I Want You To Want Me– Cheap Trick

75) The Music of the Night– Andrew Lloyd Webber

76) Leavin’ on a Jet Plane—Chantal Kreviazuk

77) My Never--Blue October

78) Stairway to Heaven--Led Zepplin

79) Hotel California--Eagles

80) Star Spangled Banner/Purple Haze--Jimi Hendrix (for the guitar, duh...)

81)

82)

83)

84)

85)

86)

87)

88)

89)

90)

91)

92)

93)

94)

95)

96)

97)

98)

99)

100)

Much Ado About Books

Publicly tracking my reading progress for the year. Also offering recommendations, and encouraging recs in return! Started this list while in PCP & haven't felt the need to stop.

JANUARY 2009

"The Daydreamer"--Ian McEwan (wonderful short stories!)

"Water for Elephants"--Sara Gruen (love this book!)

"Generation Me" (great non-fiction read. learned a great deal about myself & my generation)

FEBRUARY

"He's Just Not That Into You"--Behrendt & Tuccillo (single girls guide to dating; okay for a 1 time read.)

"Pride & Prejudice"--Jane Austen (really? EVERYONE should read this book. I do every year.)

MARCH

"Twilight"--Stephanie Meyers
"New Moon" (always recommending this series to my girl friends. you'll hate it, straight guys.)
"Eclipse"
"Breaking Dawn"
"Midnight Sun"

"Need"--Jones (really, really terrible. don't bother)

APRIL

The House of Night Series--P.C. & Kristan Cast
"Marked" (really great read for teens. would rec for hs students. pretty juvenile.)
"Betrayed"
"Changed"
"Untamed"
"Hunted"

Wicked Lovely series--Melissa Marr (incredible! my new favorite series. sexy & engaging.)
"Wicked Lovely"
"Ink Exchange"

The Dark Hunter series--Sherrilyn Kenyon
"Fantasy Lover" (the series is packed with series fantasy action, of all kinds)
"Night Pleasures"
"Night Embrace"
"Dance With The Devil" (at this point you're so hooked, it's ridiculous)
"Kiss of the Night"
"Night Play"
"Seize the Night"

MAY

The Dark Hunter series (continued)--Sherrilyn Kenyon
"Sins of the Night"
"Unleash the Night"
"Dark Side of the Moon"
"Dream-Hunter"
"Devil May Cry"
"Upon the Midnight Clear" (this was clearly a short story turned novel to make $$. grr...)
"Dream Chaser"
"Acheron" (my favorite character's story!)
"One Silent Night"
"Dream Warrior" (and now I have to wait for the rest of the series...)

Wicked Lovely series (continued)--Melissa Marr
"Fragile Eternity" (really loved this book!)

June

"Iliad"--Homer (I so love Achilles! And the Greek Gods!)

August

"Bad Moon Rising"--Sherrilyn Kenyon




<

HATE FREE ZONE!

Old blog written September 3, 2007. And still applies to the present day me! :-)

I love my friends & family, gay, straight, budhist, jewish, atheist, agnostic, black, white, red, purple. It so does not matter. And it saddens me that people judge others based upon such superficial criteria. If one must "judge" someone, do so based upon their actions and what lies in their heart, not based upon somethings so small as race, religion, gender or creed.

I was raised by two, very different people. My mother is the tolerant and loving kind; my father the, um, other kind. I pity my father for his small thinking. He hates people based upon their race, religion and sexual orientation. I have friends of different cultures, churches and orientations. Because it shouldn't matter. My dearest friend Amanda commented last summer that I am the least judgmental person she knows. I was flattered but I cannot let her nor others believe such a foolish thought.

I am extremely judgmental of the fake Christians. The mean hearted, hypocritical kind that hate and judge in the name of God. AAAHHHH!!!!!!!! That makes me so mad! The God I serve, which last time I checked was the same God all over the world, does not hate. Do the fake people really think what they say works? It hurts them more then anyone else.  Don't you dare quote the OLD Testament to me, hypocrite. I know it better then you do. First of all, we are CHRISTians, we practice the New Testament. You know, the one that Jesus shows up in. Learn your religion! Second of all, "Love Your Neighbor as You Love Yourself." So anytime the so-called Christians spout evil and mean things to their neighbors I think that they must really hate themselves. Thirdly, "Do Not Judge Lest Thee Be Judged". We are not God, we have no right to tell someone they are going to hell. If a person says you are going to hell for being gay, that must mean they are going to hell for committing the sin of judging another. ......................

No, of course they are not going to hell. God loves us all. If you believe in God and know that He sent His only Son, Jesus, to save us from our ridiculous sins so that we may one day join Him in Heaven, then you are a true Christian. Forget everything else. All the lies and tales you are told by so called experts and religious affiliates. Believe in Jesus and thou shalt be saved. It is that simple. Welcome to my religion. No hatred allowed. Tolerance is the best policy. Where all we believe is that Jesus is our Savior and we try to encourage others to see the world this way. Encourage through our loving actions, not through empty words and threats. Come on, guys, listen to John Lennon and just give peace a chance.

"We don't want your kind at our prom" -Jack
"And what kind is that, the good Christian kind?" -Barbara
"This is not about religion... At least not the kind that hates people. The intolerant, judgmental, hypocritical kind. Close minded, immature, bigoted kind." -Jack
"With bad fashion sense" -Andy
"Really bad." -Jack
"At least I'm not going to hell." -Barbara
"That's it? That's your whole comeback?" -Jack

My religion does not tolerate the Barbara's of the world. I simply choose to love and respect everyone. And I hope that through my actions that others will see the beauty of peace. And I truly believe that one person's actions can create a domino effect. So I hope that my actions will always reflect God's unending love & mercy, so perhaps others will follow suit. One can only hope, right? :-) God bless & Peace be with you!

What I Know of Falling in Love

I wrote this note October 11, 2007. It's one of my favorites & I thought I'd add it to this blog. Enjoy!

There is this moment when I’m writing that a sense of clarity overtakes me. No matter how frustrated I am with a sentence or annoyed with a character, the serenity gracefully shrouds me the way a blanket covers against the chill. The same peaceful attitude occurs when I hear a writer read their work, so enthralled in the words and movement of sound that I cannot help become so engrossed in the words that I lose all sense of time. At this point, all I see is the author standing proud reading each sweet word perfectly and I hear each syllable with the wide-eyed excitement of a child in a toy store. And when this joy and peace overtakes me I know that it has happened, again. I have succumbed to the life altering moment that shatters all my defenses and brings such joy and excitement that I know without a doubt that I fell in love. I fall hard and fast in love with words. For a time, the author is like a god that is to be admired and exalted for his command of language. Yet, eventually the glow I feel for the author transfers to the words he spoke; to each lovely phrase that hangs in the air and descends upon my heart. This is what I know of being in love.

Song Search

HELP!

I've been searching for the identity of certain song for over a year now. I heard it spring 2008 during a promo for Showtime's The Tudors: Season 2.

The link to the video is:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uGZufg-4l0I
(The song begins around 1:19)

It is one of the most hauntingly beautiful songs I think I've ever heard. And it kills me that I don't own it. I sing it all the time and I really, really want to know the name of the woman who sings this song. Has anyone any idea? If so, please, PLEASE share. This obsession is driving me nuts!

The lyrics, so far as I can tell, during the chorus are:

"If you want my love, love me.
If you need me, find my heart and free me.
To tempt me, to bind me, fully gratify me.
If you want my love, love me"

Letter to Peace Corps

Hello everyone,

I recently sent in my letter to PC, describing why I would like to serve in another country. I thought I would add it to my blog. Enjoy!

When I applied for Peace Corps two years ago, I was filled with ideas as to what the program meant to me and how I could be an asset to Peace Corps. Now that I have served, I can honestly say my ideas were naïve, and I honestly had no idea what I was getting myself into. Peace Corps is an incredible experience. It gave me the opportunity to step out of my comfort zone and embrace a new me in a different element.

Serving in Peace Corps Philippines was the best four months of my life, even with the medical issues. I greatly enjoyed learning and exploring in my new environment. Because I was there for such a short time, most of my memories center around PST. My LCF became a great friend and a wonderful big brother as he taught us the language and culture we were now immersed in. I bonded quickly with both sets of host families, with Peace Corps staff, and with my fellow batch mates. In all honesty, my favorite part of my experience in Peace Corps Philippines was batch #267. We were all thrown together out of circumstance, became friends out of necessity, and became a family out of love. Although I was forced to leave the Philippines, I have not lost touch with my batch mates, host families or the schools in which I taught.

I wrote a detailed description of my service before I left the Philippines. Which included my responsibilities as a teacher and other information requested. Due to the fact that I was only an active PCV for one month, I did very little at site. I was still adjusting to my placement when I fell ill. While there, however, I managed to co-teach four upper-level courses in English. I wanted to know the strengths of my students regarding their English knowledge so I requested each of them to write a one page autobiography of themselves. They had two days to write the paper and then I read all 208 essays. I tried to focus on the majority of the issues I discovered—such as grammar, spelling and sentence structure. While at my PST site, I did the same with my students. I also had them, in groups, prepare a television broadcast to encourage them to speak. The students were very enthusiastic about these projects. My counterparts and I worked around the clock co-planning and preparing. We implemented the lesson plan together; each knowing what was expected of the other. Although we did have text books, they were severally lacking and I ended up creating most of my lesson plans from scratch. I was very thankful to have such knowledgeable counterparts to work with and who allowed me to experiment with the lessons. The students were always excited to play whatever “crazy English game” I invented for that lesson. My principals at both schools were impressed with the discipline I had in my classes. It wasn’t really that difficulty—once the students realized my expectations.

During PST, two other trainees and I lead an after school tutoring program twice a week. Some days we were more successful than others, as the student’s thought we were crazy asking them to stay after school. J But the popularity of our unorthodox way of describing lessons (i.e. acting out what DNA particles are,) soon increased our numbers. I also lead one workshop while at my permanent site encouraging the English department to work on reading comprehension in their classrooms. I presented a motivational speech on the benefits of reading to the 4,000 students at BayBay National High School. I was kept busy as the co-advisor for the nationally ranked journalism club at BNHS. And once a week I co-taught five creative writing classes to all age groups.

My students are amazing people, full of excitement for learning and a deep need to be accepted. I admit I was nervous as to how I would connect with non-American teenagers. However, it became startling obvious how similar all teens are. They wanted friendship, understanding, and a mentor. It was my great honor to be everything my students needed. It became obvious that my job was more than just teaching them English—although I did focus on pronunciation, grammar, reading comprehension, and speech (to name a few). We taught each other about our customs, beliefs, and cultures. I became friends with my students, playing basketball with the shy ones who were too nervous to participate in class, but who were enthusiastic on the court. A good teacher knows to use any resource available to them. I often referred to teaching in Peace Corps as “MacGyver teaching.” One had to be resourceful.  I was grateful for the care packages my family sent me, for I would often invert the boxes and use the cardboard to make flashcards or other teaching tools. I found the lack of materials a welcomed challenge, discovering new ways to teach, and most of all, to excite the students about learning. I tried my best to motivate the students so that they would want to come to my class each day and were happy to learn from me, just as I was very happy to be their educator.

In this statement I was asked to identify why I wanted to re-enroll. Below is an excerpt from a blog I wrote while in PC Philippines. I believe it adequately expresses my emotions.

“Yes We Can are three very important words to all Americans right now. Yes, we can make a difference. Yes, we can change the world. Yes, we can believe in our fellow man. And Yes, one act of kindness can create a domino effect of world peace. I will never forget where I was when I heard the most beautiful announcement of my life. Barack Obama is President of the United States of America! It was lunch time on Wednesday. All of the PCT’s were together, eagerly watching the results on CNN. Peace Corps staff was kind enough to project the newscast on the wall in the lunchroom. We had watched the results all morning on our laptops during sessions. When the happy news was announced we all cheered and jumped up and down. All of us hugged one another and there was not a dry eye in the house. I cried ridiculously hard. I’ve never cried over politics–but then again, I’ve never been more happy in my life or more proud to be an American. It was an incredible moment, and a memory I will forever cherish. What complimented that moment was my final step to becoming a Peace Corps Volunteer–my swearing in ceremony. The US Ambassador swore all 65 Volunteers in as the #267th PC group in the Philippines. I can’t begin to describe all of my emotions that day. I knew as it was happening that it was one of the most important moments of my life. That sixteen months of applying for the Peace Corps, two months of packing/preparing and three months of very intense training had finally paid off. I am now, and will forever be, a Peace Corps Volunteer. I am so excited, incredibly happy, overwhelmed and in awe of all the responsibility I have earned with my new title. I look forward to beginning my assignment in BayBay, Leyte. I look forward to all of my new experiences and adventures and I look forward to serving my new President as a PCV. Obama said Yes We Can! Our batch has adopted this mantra as our own. So stand up America! Yes We Can make a change and bring peace and prosperity not only to our country, but to the world. I will begin in the Philippines.”

Filipinos are such warm and giving people—it made falling in love with their culture and customs effortless. I had no intention of ever leaving early and was very disappointed and devastated that my health forced me to leave a place where I felt I truly belonged, and away from people I deeply cared for. I understand headquarters’ reasons as to why I may not return to the Philippines, but I sincerely ask that Peace Corps consider sending me to another country. I guarantee that it won’t be a mistake. For this time around, I am no longer a naïve trainee. I know how hard living away from your comfort zone can be, I understand the challenges facing me, I know what to expect—and I embrace it all. I look forward to everything I can do for Peace Corps, for the host country, and the ways in which this second experience will change me. I would like to serve again because I greatly respect and care about the three goals of Peace Corps. I would like the opportunity to finish what I originally began, and the new experience awaiting me.

If Peace Corps decides to deny me the chance to serve somewhere else I suppose I will continue to look for work. However, I have sent countless resumes and filled out many applications around the country, and have been rejected each time. With the current economy, it is becoming obvious that I cannot find work in America. My family has been very gracious, allowing me to live at home and lend a hand. I have voluntarily visited high schools when requested to talk to students about the advantages of Peace Corps after college. Besides visiting family and talking about Peace Corps, I have had little opportunity to do much else. I can’t seem to be able to find a job in America. There are several opportunities teaching over-seas that I will most likely take advantage of if Peace Corps denies me. Also, I would like to attend graduate school, but I’d prefer to be a RPCV with two years of experience before returning to school.  However, I may not have that opportunity and will wait until the economy is more stable before I take on the extra debt attending graduate school would create.

I am confident in my abilities to uphold the three goals of Peace Corps and I sincerely hope Peace Corps will give me the second chance I am requesting. If I serve in a country lacking in humidity my previous medical condition will not affect me again. I will do my best to remain healthy and will work hard for Peace Corps and my host country. I graciously ask for a second chance to serve my country again through Peace Corps as President Obama has encouraged so many Americans to do so. I know what an asset the program is and how it affects both the lives of the volunteer and those of the host country. I greatly wish to be a Peace Corps Volunteer again teaching English under the Education sector. The ideal placement would be in Africa or Eastern Europe, but as I said the first time I applied, I will serve wherever I am most needed. If that means returning to Asia, then I will do so with a smile and a spring in my step. Being a PCV is an honor—having the chance to make a difference—is a dream come true.

“We Can, we can make difference. With our hands together we can reach the whole world. We can, we can move a mountain. It’s all for one and one for all that keeps us strong.” –PCP #267

Note: If it is possible, I would like to be placed with my former batch mate, Heather Krause. If it’s impossible, that is understandable. But we both agree that there is no risk in asking. :-)  Thanks.

More to follow...

Starting Over

It’s raining outside. Pouring, actually. I’m snuggled comfortably under my down quilt, watching the tempest shake the forest and drench the moss covered ground. Every inch of outside is green again. Winter has slowly thawed, leaving behind a brilliant display of vitality in its wake. The only sound now is the peaceful tune of the pouring rain and the soft melody of Clair de Lune. Both sets of music harmonize together perfectly, creating springs own symphony. Last night a familiar sound drew me to open the front door and step outside barefoot to explore. It was not a beautiful night, as beauty goes. It was dark, no moon or stars could penetrate the thick cloud coverage that promised today’s torrent. I wrapped my arms around myself, shivering from the chilly March night on my fevered skin, and closed my eyes. I inhaled slowly, enjoying the fresh scent of a new season. The sound split the quiet again and I smiled. An echoing croak answered the first, and I couldn’t help but be happy in that moment. This morning, as dawn broke the horizon, the early birds sang cheerfully, welcoming the façade of sunshine and warmth. Birds and frogs. Grey above and green below. Storms and sunshine all wrapped up in one day.
Ahh… I thought. This can only mean one thing: spring has arrived in the Northwest. Although our winter was harsh with biting cold and record snowfalls, melting away to leave the forest barren for what seemed like many months—the first signs of spring still fought its way through the desolation to bring hope of rebirth once again to its appreciative audience. This phenomenon made me step back and examine what life has brought me recently. My own winter was full of unwanted surprises and doubts. I was full of grief and disheartened by any chance of starting over. But spring has arrived, bringing with it everything new and yet familiar. That familiar sense of beauty and growth. The seasons change with a quiet consistency often overlooked by mere mortals, too busy with our own accords to stop and realize the change around us. However, I am pausing now. I know that, when I am not looking, my winter will fade and bring with it a renewal of hope and a new beginning I had no idea I had been seeking. Life will be reborn, and I can begin anew.

Peace Corps' Verdict

Hi Everyone,

I apologize for the lack of blogs recently. My life has been shaken in ways I was unprepared for, leaving me less then willing to share my adventures. This has been an unwanted adventure. Not all journeys are fulfillment of dreams. I’ve often asked myself lately…”What happens when your dreams DON’T become a reality? What happens when all that you’ve worked for is shattered, when all hope is dashed?”

Most of you know that last November I contracted my bizarre ear infection again and Peace Corps Philippines sent me back to America in hopes that I would heal. I thought at the time this was a good idea and that I would get the change to return to the islands as soon as I was healthy again. While I still hold firm to my belief that going back to the US was a good idea and the only way I could heal properly, I am disappointed with the knowledge that I was under a misconception about returning to the Philippines.

I have tried, I have fought, I have pleaded with Peace Corps Washington DC to send me back. Their belief is that no matter the precautions I take, I will not be able to successfully function in a tropical environment. They will not even consider sending me back. Although it has been only a week since I was told of their final decision, part of me realized that it wasn’t meant to be. I had been mentally preparing myself for their decision for weeks. And I do realize that they are right. I would get sick again. And I still remember how painful that was. Regardless of what I want, I know that it would be unhealthy for me to return to the Philippines and to the people I hold dear.

I don’t know what the plan is. God hasn’t revealed to me yet why this long awaited and long desired door was slammed shut on me. I see no open window, yet. But I have faith that all will be revealed to me in time. And I do not question why I was sent to the Philippines in the first place. The answer is so obvious. I would gladly relive each experience again, if it meant meeting the same people.

I have had many friendships in life—born from common interests and common thoughts…and timing. But I have never had friendship sprung from such pure devotion for humanity. Although we each joined PC for different reasons, it is safe to say that we genuinely care about others. I don’t know if I can adequately express how much I care about my PC family. Because that is what we are, a family. We were thrown together out of circumstance, became friends out of necessity, but we became a family out of love. I hold each of you in my heart. You all mean the world to me. I am sorry that it will be years before we see each other again, my friends. But I am always thinking of you. I wish you the best of luck and I sincerely hope that the next 20 months are filled with adventure and hope.

And when times are hard, as they often are, remember what Garrett said at swearing-in. He reminded us that Sally would trade places with you in a heartbeat…and now so would I. Remember what you are doing matters, even when it doesn’t feel that way sometimes. Try to be happy, because each day you spend there is a gift…trust me. And please keep in touch. I want to hear everything that you are doing & how you are feeling. I’m always around for you, as I was there and as I will be here. I shall keep you up-to-date about my next adventure…trying to find a place in the world post-PC. It’s not as simple as we thought. :-)
Be happy & stay healthy.

All my love,
Jess


P.S.--I don't know about going to another country right now. PC is looking into it, but I'm also looking for jobs in Seattle and the Olympic Peninsula. I'm not sure if I'm ready to start over again just yet. I think I'd prefer to stay US bound for now. Find a job. Normalcy isn't as frightening as it once was. ;-) I'll let you know what I decide.